sexualitity is part of you
Sexuality is everything. Without sexuality, you would not be here. Without sexual energy you would not live. We all, you and me included, are sexual beings - and yes, you can and might want to experience more than you already do.
You might be on track, but having reached a point at which you want more, not knowing how.
Or this may sound very strange, you having nothing to do with sex. You may find it dirty, annoying and troublesome. You may never have experienced sexual pleasure, or so long ago you wouldn't know how to achieve it again. Maybe you're one of the many women, for whom sex mainly reminds her of abuse, having nothing at all to do with love.
However, it is not for nothing that you have come to this website and are reading these lines. Either way you want to get deeper into the magic of your sexuality, or you want to familiarise yourself with it some more.
Deep down you feel questions like:
• Is this all or am I really missing something?
• Why do I restrain myself from really living my life?
• Why don't I listen to what I really need?
• Am I not just denying the very thing which can restore the happiness, fun and zest to life?
It's really great if you ask yourself these (and similar) questions. It means you haven't completely given up the desire to live life fully.
Sexuality is, or can be, the best thing there is, precisely because it is the foundation of all that makes life so special:
- creativity, joy, enjoyment, (personal/spiritual) growth, etc... Moreover, sexual energy, being pure and free, is the source of eternal youth. If sexual energy is used correctly, it can have many positive attributes. It has the power to rejuvenate, to prolong life, to cure diseases, to promote your physical and mental well being.
That's something you wouldn't expect, because your pelvic area might appear to be dead, or at least quenched. But this does not have to stay that way. Really, that could change. If you want...
Furthermore: What I, Michael, try to do in my Sacred Sexuality Healing center, has very little to do with what is seen in daily life, or dished up by the media, as 'sex' or 'erotic'. It has nothing to do with pornography or sweet horny delights. But everything with love. Starting with the love you can feel for yourself. And parting from that self-love, also to the love for somebody else. So, what do you think? Do you want to change your situation? If so, read on.
May this be something for you?
You didn't end up here in vain. You are reading this page, because there is something in you that tells you that something needs to be done, that it's time for a change.
However, it is very important to know why you're really here. Are you here, because you yourself believe something needs change in you? Or just because others (your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend) have made clear something has to be done? If the latter is the case, go back to whatever you were doing, to only return when you yourself will feel the need.
• It may be that you have little experience in the field of sexuality and find it difficult to take steps on you own.
• Perhaps you do have some or much experience, but you have reached a point, where you do not know how to go further.
• You may have been in a miserable marriage for years doing 'it' just for his sake, or you haven't done 'it' all together for years.
• Perhaps you have been abused as a child, or were violated or raped as an adolescent or adult.
• Maybe you've only experienced masculine forms of sexuality, which often are about overpowering, or in which the connection between the heart and sex is often missing.
• you may also have noticed your body to cramp as soon as 'it' comes in the picture. Vaginismus or the absence of natural lubrication can be a signal.
Whatever your body wants to tell you, it doesn't have to stay that way. Your body can heal - you can heal. But only if you yourself want it, if you desire to feel more deeply, if you really want to experience life.
In the end, we can only decide after an intake, if my program of sexual healing, is really something you can benefit from.
What may help you now in knowing what you need, are questions like...
• Are there still moments I feel really happy?
• Am I happy with my love life? With my partner? With the way I experience intimacy?
• Do I feel frustrated?
• Do I still dare to feel? Do I seek distraction in television, alcohol, drugs, food, etc. - everything to just not feel?
• Do I still dare to connect with another human being or am I afraid to be rejected?
The real questions and real answers you need, you will not find on this site, but within yourself. Go inside, open your heart and make a connection from your heart to your vagina, your source of life energy. And feel deeper. Feel what's right for you, feel what you really need. Not for others, but only for yourself. And only then you may take action. Which you and you only can do. No one else but you.
Want to know how a program with me might look like? Go further...
If you wish to continue, you'll choose an intensive program. I don't live around the corner, but in the north west of the Spanish mainland, Galice, jkust above Portugal.
The downside is therefore that you'll have to come to my place.
The advantage is that you'll totally commit by taking distance from the old and familiar. The environment is new, the climate here is usually a lot warmer and less rainy than at home. And it is quiet, very quiet. Ideal conditions to let go of the 'old', and thus of whatever holds you.
Here... you can find more information about my place.
Intimacy and sexuality
I help you around problems with intimacy, relationships, sexuality, communication and loving yourself and your body. I can even help you, if you have a history of abuse, or otherwise had bad experiences with sexuality.
The basic principle is that you too deserve it to be able to experience a loving relationship. That relationship we -you and me- will have in a limited time frame, with a beginning, a middle and an end - a highly transformational time for you, and for me.
Some problems are of a physical nature. If you suspect that they are, visit a doctor and make sure that he can help.
What I can do for you is to assist you in non-physical matters.
Many problems manifesting themselves in sexual matters, have little to do with sexuality necessarily, but stem from a lack of (sexual) self-esteem, frustration, rejection, etc. - feelings that may make enjoying sexuality difficult.
Our daily sessions help build your self-confidence, your social and communication skills, and your sensuality and physical and emotional intimacy. This is done by means of breathing techniques and exercises in relaxation and sensual and sexual touching (both receiving and giving).
Touch can trigger very deep emotions and memories. By allowing and experience them fully, it is possible to overcome the attendant pain and reticence.
Everything in 'our' relationship is based on mutual respect, loving care and tenderness - embedded in safety. That what happens between us, stays between us.
You can reach the point you...
• feel more self-love
• feel more at ease in the company of men
• are more at ease in intimate situations
• will have a deeper contact and better relationship with your body
• will let go of old norms and values ??about sexuality
• will less likely to be stunned by fear
• experience an increase in sensitivity and body awareness
• overcome unwanted virginity
• improve sexuality with yourself and with others
• overcome some, or maybe most of your sexual problems
• develop further your sexual potential
• will get more confidence in yourself during the act of loving, to be a better mistress
We begin with a comprehensive intake, starting with some emails in which you tell me, what you think is going on. After those we may have one or more skype sessions, important for you to know me better. Only then you can decide if and when you want to come.
• Upon completing of the traject, it is not only important to know what you want to achieve and how fast you would like to. But also...
• What are the resistances you encounter and how do you deal with them? • What do you think is happening, what is it you are really aware of, and what do you merely suspect? • From what do you want to free yourself? And what are you willing to do to achieve your goal?
The program I propose, is made especially for you, because no two people are alike. However it's me who runs the program, eventually we will make it the two together.
The program is not just about how you will develop your sexuality. Of much more importance is how your discovery of (aspects of) your sexuality, will change the way you see yourself, and consequently the world around you. You will exerience some changes, probably even may find your own strength, and may notice it'll be easier to make contacts.
Throughout the whole process, I will be there for you, I'll accompany you, I'll challenge you to discover who you really are. That I'll do by giving myself to you, and to continually confront you with that what withholds you to be who you really are. In doing so, I will use elements from eastern spiritual schools as tantra and taoism. But it will never be woolly. We remain always grounded, in the here and now, there where the healing takes place. Nor will it be, that we only do exercises, every day from early morning till late in the evening. Except for the meditations, exercises and enquiries we do, we'll prepare the food together, and take walks. And occasionally, and only when your processes need it, you will carry out things by yourself, like making a walk on the mountain. All in order to be alone with what you need in order to heal more deeply.
In short, this is a 24/24-process, in which, of course, you can take all the time you need for yourself. But once you feel my company is needed again for your process, I'll be there for you.
What helps me to be there fully for you, are the lessons of tantra. For example: stop judging, live in the momentlive in the moment (and not in the past or in the future), where everything can be what it is, without any adhesion. The latter is very difficult, but it is the basis by which I will help you in your healing process, and also the base from which you may allow yourself to be healed.
Another thing tantra has taught me, is that its essence is not about 'love'. But once there occurs a deep connection, a deep love emerges, a love without judgment, without attachment, without possessing the other. Unconditional love, loving the other for what he/she is, without putting any conditions.
The connection we engage during an intensive, goes very deep and is, in all aspects, real and pure, but also emphatically temporary. The last day of our meeting will conclude with a special ritual to leave behind the attachment which is still present. So you can go home as the new woman who you now are.
Depending on what you want to achieve, and how quickly, we work in an intensive process at the healing of your being. Occasionally it can be useful to involve your regular partner in this process. In that case we mostly work the two of us, and partly with your partner.
The basis for a healing process us that we really work as a couple. And that you're going totally for it, you'll confront your own fears and dive into the deep end. That's the only way, if you do come to La Palma. The best way for the process would be a 15-day intensive. If this is not possible, due to children, work, finances, choose the 8-day intensive. And see if you can come back for another intensive at another time.
It's totally possible you will not have arrived at the desired point after a continuous period of two weeks. Do not hesitate to come back later for a follow-up of one or two weeks. Even after the process, you can contact me for aftercare, if necessary.
The first day if your stay will be used to arrive (which can be supplemented with contact-exercises),The last day will be mainly used for a final assessment. Depending on the intensity of the processes and the obstacles we have to overcome during your stay, between two and three days of a 15-day intensive will be for rest, in which your experiences can descend. (An 8-day intensive contains usually one day of rest.)
My way of 'working' is a very special and intensive one. The usual surrogate partner-programs in the UK (ICASA) and USA (IPSA)work with a series of (mostly 8) short sessions with a sexological bodyworker, complemented by additional sessions with a qualified psychotherapist/ sexologist.
I am, when necessary, also supported by qualified people (by Skype) in The Netherlands, but most of the program we -you and me- do by ourselves in a non-stop 14 (or 7-) day meeting.
Click here... for the rates.
Who am I?
This site is a continuation of my activities in my tantra center groeien in verbinding (growing through connection - center for tantric healing and consciousness).
In the workshops I led, and in the tantric massages I gave, I met so many people (male/female) with severe problems in the pelvic area - the part of body in which resides their sexuality (and vitality). And I noticed how much, just healing that area, in many cases leads to the healing of all areas - and that I am really good in accompanying those healing processes.
This role is not based on a thorough study of anatomy or sexuality and psychology, but in my experience of life, and above all, love.
Or as a massage client once described:
"...your devotion, your dedication,
your undivided attention and unconditional love,
your integrity and genuine respect.
You followed me.... leaving my borders intact.
My body feels touched out of love so pure so moving. Touched with nothing in between.
So much compassion in your touch.
And you kept touching me, again and again..."
What I do is touch you from within my purity.
My only goal: healing you through sacred sexuality.
When sexuality is based on true love and not on using the other for the satisfaction of your own needs, sexuality unites itself with true love and the opportunity is createted to grow together to be something much bigger, something sacred. Sacred, as it was in ancient Egypt, sacred as Jesus Christ must have feld with Mary Magdalene, sacred as it was practiced in the Far East in tantra.
Sacred, because sexual energy is pure healing energy, helping you transform into spirituality, into the new within ourselves and beyond, forming a bridge to eternal life, to the divinity in ourselves.
What happens to you during this adventurous, healing journey, is that you can be yourself, both in the 'pain' as in the 'peasure'.
You do not have to pretend to be more beautiful or better than the person you really are. Because you, being the person you are, are fine just as you are - a human being with the ability to grow and change continuously.
More about the man I am, you'll find here.
How people have experienced me ... at my retreats
"I start with a deep bow for myself. I went, it was a brilliant action to myself. Yes, I am very satisfied.
And that is what it has brought me: joy, acceptance, awareness. Profound transcendent experiences, a transfer of life energy.
A great sense of peace and completeness.
What has it brought me: transparency. A deeper view of what is so often not, correction, not yet.
It also has brought me anger and frustration. I thought I could skip those emotions on my path, but they are still there. And that's wonderful.
It also has brought me curiosity about life, about all that was not allowed, but was still there. And now it can be, and next time perhaps not anymore. And this is OK.
That was the biggest discovery: to feel the softness and gentleness in me - Michael, through you and with you.
La Palma: "Healthy relationships between master and disciple are free of artifice and protocol. Even in ritual, when the master releases his power, the relationship must remain simple" (from Daniel Odiers book 'Tantric Quest, an encounter with absolute love'). That really turned out great, Michael." (Doce)
"We've both been through a intense process, individually and together. Meanwhile, we have started a new life, and this after so many years of marriage: very touching, satisfying and encouraging. These two weeks have given us much more than I was daring to hope or dream. I took the first steps towards self-acceptance, self-love, self-power, sexual power. Fortunately we had booked two weeks: the first week I needed to explore, feel and deal with intimate aspects of myself, which I I had denied, condemned or pushed away. The second week was to enable, deliver, experience and dedicate. This experience is a gift that we are still unpacking at home every day. And we expect the unpacking never stops, because the liberation that is put in motion by the tantric retreat, has many unexpected effects. Specially concerning our functioning as human beings in life." (Marjon)
"Along with Marjon I arrived fully open and curious to learn whatever you had to offer. This journey has become the way for the rest of my life. Partly because of your control, sometimes with your adjustments when I refused to learn,I found out that I was more locked than I thought. Now I feel completely free in my sexual energy, my strength, so I can be myself more and more. It is DELICIOUS. I have also discovered the power of my voice, for having healed my throat chakra. For the first time in my life I know how to breathe well. I keep going through life singing." (Wilfried)
"We look back at an intensive week. With pleasure and nostalgia we remember your beautiful place, where we met for a week of tantric experiences.
Your initiative and courage to make this place possible, inspires us.
All this, and the beautiful island, we carry in our hearts.
We can now deal with each other in a softer way. The-kum nye massage brings us energy, connection, relaxation and stillness.
Jan: "For me I've learned to be less goal oriented and let it flow more, therefore it is easier to relax and feel the energy."
Meera: "It is easier to let the energy from my heart flow to my sexuality, which makes it easier to open me to myself and to Jan." (Jan & Meera)
How people have experienced me . . . in my workshops and massages
"You have touched me deeply, very deeply. That happened to me today at least 100 times. And I let it happen again and again.
I am deeply impressed. I feel like crying, but I can't, because the feelings go much further... maybe the tears will come later.
It is a recognition, a mirror, a coming home.... your devotion, your dedication, your undivided attention and unconditional love, your integrity, genuine respect. You followed me.... leaving my borders intact.
My body feels touched out of love so pure so moving. Touched with nothing in between. So much compassion in your touch. And you kept touching me, again and again. The feeling that I can really be. (... )
What you do is priceless. I feel so much gratitude. I also feel I just want to be touched countless times more. Your touches are so healing... finally, there come the tears...
Your masculinity - so indescribably beautiful. The way you are able to give all your love, passion, hot blooded as you described so beautifully.
There is so much trust and freedom in me.
Also feel so much love to what has happened.
You surprised me completely, what happened was my wildest dream, my dearest and greatest desire.
But above all your dedication was something I had not experienced with anyone previously." (Maria)
"My body felt tonight as a powerplant.
Awakened, I felt the power, the energy.
I have no words...
Never before I have felt anything similar.
I feel in my body the enormous depth.
The remaining is still in Dutch